And I have to be honest, while we were living in Augusta and around a TON of babies, I started to get that itch. I was pinning cute nursery photos to my Future Little Fentons Pinterest board all the time. I was taking maternity, newborn, and growing baby photos for friends. I was volunteering in the nursery at church. It wasn't an all-consuming desire or anything, it was just something that danced in the forefront of my mind a little more often.
Now, I feel like I've experienced this huge shift in my thinking. I am NOT ready to have kids anytime soon. If I got pregnant tomorrow, I would probably (selfishly) cry. I don't know what happened that made my attitude change so drastically (maybe because these past few months I haven't been around that many babies?) but that baby fever has just kinda vanished. On one hand, it worries me a little bit, but on the other, I think God is giving me grace for this next season in life, where we are going to settle down in our first home and will probably be around a lot of young couples with children.
So with that said, it will probably be a few years until we have a little Kyle or little Lesley Anne running around. There are some things Kyle and I would like to do before we start a family, and I think we still need a few years where it is just the two of us before we are ready to make that step. Sure, it has been just the two of us for the past three years, but those three years have been a little different since one of us was a full-time student the entire time. We weren't able to give each other our undivided attention. Not that we will EVER be able to give each other our undivided attention, because life will always pull us in a million different directions, but having a baby in the mix definitely changes things. And we just aren't ready for that yet.
Of course, one thing I've learned is that my plans and God's plans are usually two different things, and it is prideful to tell God how my life is going to go. So God could have a completely different plan in mind for us, and ultimately that is what we are going to follow. He could surprise me with a positive pregnancy test tomorrow, and though initially I would freak out, I know God would be faithful in preparing my heart for motherhood sooner than planned. Or we could get a medical curveball that slows down our current timetable, or we may find out that adoption is going to be the only option for us. All I know is that whatever God has in store for us, He is going to bless us with a child in HIS timing. And we can't wait to see what the future holds. :)
Go ask your general practioner or your OBGYN for an AMH test. It should be covered by insurance. I'll leave you along about it after that. : )
ReplyDeleteMy little man isn't even a year old yet and we are getting questions about when the next one is coming! I hear ya girl :))
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